Empathetic leaders are the best leaders. Having, mastering, and utilizing empathy has a major impact on workplace environments, teams, and individuals. Many are quick to dismiss empathy as a soft skill that is unnecessary in the military. But empathy means that you can understand and appreciate the needs of others, and at its core, leadership is, ultimately, about others. Inspiring others to meet and exceed the mission, to take actions beyond their capabilities, and to work together as a team all rely on a foundation of empathy.
As a new Lieutenant, my first assignment was as a platoon leader in the High Mobility Artillery Rocket System (HIMARS) unit. It was a challenge to become a subject matter expert on the weapon system, the tactics used to employ them, and figure out how the Army worked in general. Our operational tempo was high, our training exercises were demanding and frequent, and all I cared about was meeting the mission. Leading with empathy was not a skill I processed or thought to develop. I wish I had.
I did not incorporate empathy into my life or my leadership until much later. I was, at that point, deployed with my Battery to Kuwait. We were waiting on our equipment to make it to port so we could push out to our firing points. We knew some of us would end up in Iraq, shooting to support maneuvering Iraqi Security Forces, but it was less clear where the rest of the battery would end up and when.
We had been in country less than a week when issues within my platoon began to surface. Particularly, a few young Soldiers had been caught, repeatedly, fighting each other, being disrespectful, and generally misbehaving. My Platoon Sergeant and I knew we had to stop this behavior immediately. Before we met with our Soldiers, my Platoon Sergeant pulled me aside to remind me that these Soldiers were young, barely twenty, had just taken their first transatlantic flight, were living far from home for, and were, very likely feeling just as stressed and scared for the future as I was. Although it would have been easy and justifiable to punish them for their poor choices, for the first time, I was asked to view life from the perspectives of my Soldiers.
Instead of punishing these Soldiers for their actions, I sat and talked to them about their feelings on the deployment. Like me, they were feeling stressed and unsure in their new environment. They were worried about what the future held in store, and they just wanted someone to talk to who would listen. I worked with them find healthy coping skills to deal with their anxiety and made it a point to check in on them and all my Soldiers each day. The misbehavior stopped, my platoon started to work together as team, and we achieved tasks that had once seemed impossible. The Soldiers who started our deployment fighting each other came home with awards, promotions, and pride in each other.
Without empathy, you cannot build a team, nurture a new generation of leaders, inspire followers or illicit loyalty. Empathy is essential to leadership. It builds bonds, gives, insight, teaches presence, guides understanding, sharpens people skills, and cultivates better communication. If true leadership is about empowering others to achieve things, they do not think are possible, then empathy is the key to achieving the impossible.