Rick Santorum

by Michael Meyerhofer


Poetry is known for opposing mainstream opinions,
especially those routinely taught in classrooms.

Poetry has a personal objection to pornography,
not to mention condoms—things that get in the way.

Its name has been used as a euphemism, a punchline,
though rarely in a flattering or non-satirical light.

Poetry believes in the sanctity of the Vatican—
that is, it believes in something that doesn’t exist.

Most voters agree that Poetry needs medication
but argue over the best form of experimental therapy.

In regards to energy production, Poetry espouses
a simple platform: drill now, drill everywhere.

Poetry boasts a minority of vocal supporters,
hard-liners in a war fought entirely in their minds.

Though many have predicted Poetry’s decline,
it seems to thrive off panic and economic strife.

It has also been criticized for the way it grieves:
the swaddled stillborn driven home before burial,

its tearful caressing of what you and I would
simply dress, box up, and quarantine underfoot.



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