Clifford A Smith

As I start looking closer at the issue of homosexuality, child sexual abuse, domestic violence, sexual violence (rape, date rape), racism, sexism, ageism, classism, and ethnocentrism, I see that all of these issues have a common denominator. I noticed all are issues that come from the attitude of patriarchal masculinity. This type of masculinity is nothing but about ruling over the lives of other individuals. All of these issues are about people having to give up their self identity to a group who has claimed superiority. It has denied these people a voice and given them a status of less than human.

This masculinity has led to women, children and men of all races to be hurt physically, emotionally and psychologically. Because masculinity basically means having dominion over others, governments have starved women and children to get control over groups that oppose their dominion. Wars have been started because some individual wanted to expand his power over others. Men have raped because of the hatred they feel toward women. Some men have sexually molested children because they could not get their sexual needs met with an equal. Men have enslaved other men to show their mastery over them. Men have claimed to be tough by ignoring their health and other problems with their bodies. Men think it is a weakness to show or express their feelings towards other human beings. Patriarchal masculinity has caused problems that are so complex, that we do not really want to tackle the issues that are at stake.

All men are not like the men I have described in the preceding paragraph. There are those men who have not taken on the notion of masculinity prescribed by the dominant culture. There are men who treat their spouses as equals. We do have men in this society who take care of babies and children. We do have men who shun violence and sexual promiscuity to prove their manhood. There are men who value their bodies and are comfortable in their own sexuality. There are men who see the need to reconstruct the norms of masculinity.

We live in a period now where the norms of masculinity are causing too many problems for good people. People today want to be their own voices. They want the pride of giving themselves their own identity and leading their own lives. This is what the black male needs to accomplish. He needs to give himself an identity that will cause him to be comfortable with himself. The black male needs to seriously critique the dominant culture's norm of masculinity instead of reworking the norms to satisfy his social situation.[1] Some black males have failed to see the problem of the dominant culture's norms of masculinity on their lives. If black men are willing to work with black women and explore the way feminism and womanism has critiqued sexism, "then we can break the life-threatening choke hold patriarchal masculinity imposes on black men and create life sustaining visions of a reconstructed black masculinity that can provide black men ways to save their lives and the lives of their brothers and sisters and the rest of the world." [2]

What I intend to accomplish with this paper is to start moving toward a reconstruction of masculinity for the African American male. This start toward a reconstruction is a beginning that would start a personal transformation in the life of the black male. It is with this start that there would be a continuous evolving as the African American male grows into this new vision. This work would not be a completion but a beginning with more added on as the author moves through the process.

I am going to use a pastoral care and counseling prophetic model to reconstruct this masculinity for the African American male with which society has a troubled relationship. "Prophetic is that dimension of ministry which confrontationally seeks improvement in large groups and systems. Pastoral places more emphasis on personal health and growth, including intimate personal relations with family and other small groups."[4] The pastor must be able to confront social issues and comfort those suffering from the ills of society. It is necessary for the pastor to confront as well as care to bring both social change and personal growth to an individual's life.[4]

Chapter 1 "What is the Problem?" is a basic overview of looking at the problem of masculinity.

Chapter 2 "Naming and Defining the Problems of Masculinity" is a look at the problems that have risen from black male acceptance of the norms of masculinity from the dominant culture.

Chapter 3 "Starting the Process" is a brief discussion on starting the process of a personal transformation.

The masculinity of the black man has been a determent for his well being. It is the object of this author to look at a particular factor that has caused this pain and the result of this acceptance of the norms of masculinity to suit his situation.

No matter where I am in this country called the United States of America, somebody has a problem with an individual's race, gender, sexual orientation or another characteristic that makes people different. It seems that we have found fault with individual differences, instead of trying to understand people who are different. The differences we have found in other individuals have caused us to give them labels which have led to societal ills which have caused problems for a society that has diversity.

The problems we face today in society are problems that have developed over numerous years. There are no easy answers to these problems, but there should be a continuous praxis of seeking the solution. I see no quick and satisfying solution to the problems we have encountered. I do see humanity constantly evolving as beings who seek to move beyond these problems.

The complexity of the issues facing this country cannot have input and solutions from just one discipline; there must be collaboration from all parties who recognize that there is a problem.

When a problem is brought forth by the oppressed, the oppressed has the responsibility of teaching the oppressor what is wrong.[5] The oppressor then has the responsibility of listening and learning how to seek a solution that will create harmony for both parties. During this process the oppressed will learn that the oppressor will put up resistance, deny that anything is wrong, or oppress even harder.[6] No matter what happens, the oppressed must continue to push for change. If the oppressor is willing to change, then he or she must be willing to collaborate with the oppressed to seek a solution. The oppressor cannot find the solution alone within his own rationale. The oppressor cannot begin to comprehend the complexity and magnitude of what the oppressed has experienced, nor will the oppressor understand. The oppressor should have the compassion to hear and try to relate with the oppressed as a human being.

The subject of masculinity has led me to believe that there are problems with the ways and the things that men are taught to be socially acceptable and truthful. It has led to problems that have done damage to women, children, other creatures, the earth and themselves.

There is recognition by men and women that the current construction of masculinity needs considerable reexamination and conversion. It is through reading, listening, questioning and self-examination that the current notions of masculinity, complex issues that they are, are going to be challenged.

There are many forces struggling with these issues of masculinity to persuade men to accept new and meaningful ways of living. Many men feel they are losing some kind of power by turning from the patriarchal behaviors and attitudes.

The men who are in the institutions of power (church, business, etc.) created by patriarchy seem to put up the most resistance. There are; however, some individuals in these institutions that have fought and brought changes in attitudes and behavior. It is a continuing battle against other groups, who wish to keep, that which is called patriarchal masculinity as a way of life. There needs to be collaboration among all human beings to help create a masculinity that will create a harmonious spirit among all individuals.

Patriarchal masculinity has had a hazardous effect upon the lives of women who are in the same social class as the men in institutions of power, as well as women and men of color. It has also wreaked havoc upon gay, lesbian and bisexual persons, third world persons, indigenous peoples, children, the poor and persons with physical disabilities.[7]

The really sad notion is that some men do not realize the damage patriarchal masculinity has done to their lives. The construct of masculinity has led to a systemic oppressed life as to how a man should live.[8]

The masculinity that the black man adheres to must undergo a radical change. The masculinity of the black man is homophobic, sexist, phallocentric, misogynistic and violent. It has been copied and adapted from the dominant cultural groups and is the result of living in a racist society.[9] I am under the impression that some black men conformed to this construct of masculinity to be recognized as men by other men, including white men.[10]

When it comes to discussing and studying the masculinity of black men, we have to look at how a racist society has undermined the self-identity of the black male. It seems that an individual who has been constantly emasculated over the years would at least try to conform to the dominant culture in hope of their being some acknowledgment of acceptance. This has been a plight of some black men in the United States.

Growing up as a black male in the United States has been a difficult process. It seems that everyone has the correct technique as to how you are to grow as an individual. I know that being a black male is a burden at times because some people see and think of me, and men like me, as "menaces to society." The masculinity that has been a part of my life has been one that has been used to oppress others and oppress me.

I have had to go through a personal transformation that is continuing to evolve as I journey through life. For me to have reached this point in my life, I have had to be willing to be in dialogue with the gay man, the lesbian, the bisexual, the feminist, the womanist, the woman with children, the sexually abused child, the abused woman, individuals of different ethnic groups, men who have been hurt by masculinity and myself. Listening to these voices describing their painful journeys caused me to look at what I have done to maintain the status quo. I realized that I had become a subscriber to the notion of patriarchal masculinity. I first wanted to reject this notion because I am black.

My social location; however, did alert me to my acceptance and adherence to the social construction of masculinity.

I am black male who was raised in a Southern city in a middle class, increasingly racially mixed neighborhood. (This was during the seventies.) Both my parents are college educated.

The high school I attended was 18 percent black, one percent other ethnic mix and 81 percent white. My life during the school week was intertwined with the dominant cultural group.

Sundays were different. They were in the Judeo-Christian ethic, with a black American slant. Sunday was an all day affair with the black Baptist church and family.

Growing up in my neighborhood I knew of only one household that had a single mother raising children. There were only a few mothers who did not work outside the home.

Over the growing up years I had been socialized as a male who played sports, acted tough, fought when my manhood was challenged and objectified women. My socialization into this patriarchal masculinity was not learned at home from my father.

My father was a quiet man who taught me to succeed in life through education rather than sports. He taught me to be sensitive to other people. He treated my mother with dignity and respect.

It was through my peers, whose acceptance I was seeking, that I learned a masculinity that was the social norm. I was a Boy Scout, and I was a football player. I was in the Army and I played rugby as an adult. It was these groups that created a masculinity that caused damage to myself and to others.

I also worked in a factory for eight and a half years. The culture of a factory has some added dimension to an individual's masculinity. In a factory I struggled with the aspect of being considered a second class citizen by the company management.

The pain of racism I experienced at school, the Army and the factory caused me to withdraw from people emotionally. Racism causes a person to put up a false image to protect his feelings and fragile ego.

Now, as an ordained minister with a post graduate degree, I see how my social location had contributed to my construction of masculinity.

I have also been able to start a personal transformation toward a new creation.

"Masculinity, as defined in this culture, has always implied a certain autonomy over and mastery of one's environment."[11] "Men's studies views masculinity- whatever else it might be- as social construction that varies by cultures and by historical periods. As cultural constructs rather than a biological inevitability, masculinity is inextricably connected with the economic, political, social, psychological and religious dimensions of human life."[12] All the elements of society have created a masculinity that is running out of control. This masculine mystique or spirit is undermining the wholeness of humanity and the world.

The black male has been denied the norms of masculinity that are prescribed by the dominant culture. The conception of racism has had a hazardous effect upon the masculinity of black males. Because of the sting of racism, black males have developed a masculinity that has enabled them to survive in this society. Black masculinity that has aroused uproar in the African American community is not representative of all black males. Black men have been denied equal access to achieve masculinity that would give them equal identity within the dominant culture. The ability to have dominion in the workplace would enable him to achieve status a head of household (breadwinner). A few black men are fighting along with white men to keep the prescribed norms of masculinity that have been detrimental to humanity. Some of these same men are fighting to keep whatever masculinity has been allowed by the dominant culture. Whatever masculinity the black man has been allowed to keep is manifested in the most immoderate form of sexual domination.

The black man has been socialized and allowed to achieve manhood with his penis. It is manifested in the sexist attitude toward women, phallocentrism, homophobia, black male and black female relationships and interracial relationships. It seems that he is given a place of dominion to exercise his manhood in a place the dominant culture finds shame and guilt. There exists the impression that since many black men have been denied total autonomy in the work area, they must find someone or somewhere they can dominate.

"Black males have traditionally had a strong sexual orientation because the sexual conquest of women was considered a masculine trait. Since other symbols of masculinity have been denied them in the society, sexual prowess became a partial substitute for achievement in other areas."[13] This is a true statement. I remember while working on my undergraduate degree and working full time, my roommate was accomplishing his sexual conquests. My masculinity was manifested through my getting an education, working a full-time job and being a contributing citizen to the community. He was known for his sexual prowess. Among our peers I was almost an outsider because I was closer to mainstream society, while he was a ladies man and very popular. In contrast, to our families, my roommate was considered somewhat of an embarrassment, because within our families we had bought into a different ethic of masculinity, which was working and taking care of your family.

My generation of peers was raised middle class, but most of us were a paycheck away from being the working poor. Even though we were raised with a strong work ethic, our manhood was still measured by the conquest of women, that same sexist attitude that has stood for many years. More times than not, our conversations were about women. These were not conversations for the innocent. The conversations were of sexist attitudes about getting women to give in to your advances. It was about conquest and how many women you had satisfied and had satisfied you. My peer group was raised middle class, so the proof of fathering a child was not necessary, and also having been raised in the Judeo-Christian tradition, having a child out of wedlock was considered an embarrassment to the family.

Phallocentrism is another representation that black men have accepted from the dominant culture. "The black male defines who he is by the power of his anatomical protrusion and then further defines the value of what he is by the volume, the depth, the length and the activity of that anatomical protrusion. As a male, one is essentially no more than a dangling piece of flesh located about three inches below the navel."[14] The black male penis is the base for his manhood. Some black men believe the size of their penises define who they are.

I know of many men who have used this argument to define who they are to other people. There are men who brag and boast and show individuals the size of their penises. The penis size issue is also used to dominate women, ridicule males of the dominant culture and prove manhood. It is also used to ridicule other black men who are not of the same socio-ecomomic background.

The media encourage this type of "show" among blacks. You can see it in movies, television shows and stand up comic performances. Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy are two comedians who have used the phallus as the center of their act. In fact, their comedy acts have been phallocentric, sexist and misogynistic. They have accepted this notion of manhood and continue to perpetuate this type of masculinity to the black community. There are many other people who are getting paid big bucks to incorporate the accepted norms of masculinity as a correct way of life.

Since I was not sexually promiscuous, the question asked of me was when was I going to get married. In my little world, getting married and providing for and protecting your wife completed one's masculinity. You were to raise a family and be a good husband and father. The Christian church reinforced this conception. Most black churches are family oriented with the man as the head of the house. This was reinforced with scripture reading from Ephesians 5:22-23 and Colossians 3:18. There were sermons preached, Sunday school lessons taught, and special seminars that reinforced the headship of the male.

Since the male had this type of support from the church, the community never questioned his authority. If he was leading a secret life and cheating on his wife, it was not questioned as long as he was taking care of his family. If you look at the history of the black church, you will notice that it was the first institution that gave black men the sole responsibility of leadership.

The black man did not have the autonomy he wanted on his job, but he did have it at church. It was the one place in his life where the dominant culture did not have power. In the black community the preacher was the one individual who had power over the community. Some preachers abused the power that was given to them. They were usually the power brokers between the black community and the white leadership.

Preachers were also held in high regard because they represented the total package of manhood before other blacks were able to obtain jobs in mainstream society. The status and power that preachers have are also reasons they are disliked by some black males. The black preacher has also been labeled as an individual with a sexist attitude. Even though the church membership is mostly women, the male preacher still rules.

"The masculine mystique's insistence that a man is defined by his economic productivity, his competitiveness, his ability to amass material goods and his power over other men is no less a mandate for black men than it is for white. Black men buy into the mystique, yet they often lack the jobs and resources to conform themselves to it."[15] Yes, black men buy into this that is causing them pain. There are those who are able to buy into this system and keep it up until it starts tearing away at their health and relationship with family. Men that are in the middle class often buy into this mystique without realizing the cost. We agree to this norm because we want to be accepted as productive citizens.

Because I am black, society has a built in fear of my maleness. If the individual does not know who I am, he presumes I am dangerous, violent and a sex maniac. Society has labeled most young black men as dangerous. The racist attitude that society has forced upon the young black male has caused him to do things that are not helpful to himself or to anyone else. He has been psychologically castrated.[16] Since he wants to be accepted he turns inward upon himself in trying to find a way to be accepted by someone.

All through life my masculinity has been determined by standards that I had no choice in creating. If I did not conform to these standards I was considered a failure and a deviant.

"American society also prescribes and reinforces a male image that centers on being tough, emotionally unexpressive, detached and self reliant."[17] Black men buy into this image, but do not have the resources to bring the image into reality. To compensate, many young black men take on what researchers term compulsive masculinity. "In compulsive masculinity, typical masculine values become a rigid prescription for toughness, sexual promiscuity, manipulation, thrill seeking and a willingness to use violence to resolve interpersonal conflict."[18]

"Quit whining, only babies cry." "You are supposed to be a man, now suck it up and get back out there and hurt somebody." I still remember those words as if they were just spoken to me yesterday. Those words were spoken to me during football practice after I had the wind knocked out of me. Your manhood depended upon how much pain you could endure without complaining. Physical pain is something that must be numbed or ignored for the sake of performance. You only spoke of pain when it developed into a serious injury.

Being tough was about being a man. You had examples of tough sports heroes who played with broken limbs, aching muscles and concussions. This was part of the requirement to enter into the realm of manhood. This type of masculinity has led men into neglecting their health.

We were required to play injured because it made us tough. Because of this toughness, we have committed ourselves to an early death. "The masculine mystique indoctrinates men into ignoring an illness until it becomes disabling; often they do not follow prescribed treatments."[19] Sports and the military are two areas in which black men have been allowed to express their manhood through toughness.

This toughness had to be constantly maintained in front of strangers and the dominant culture. It was through this toughness that a man was able to control others through fear. Just being a black man brought you some type of control over other individuals because people were afraid of you. The media and society had conditioned white women, some white men and some black people to be afraid of you because they had developed images of black males that were not representative of all black males.[20]

Being accepted as a man meant that you could not show any type of weakness. If you were a kind person, you were considered weak. Men and women considered you weak if you showed kindness to anyone besides your mother. As a male I had to stand tall, be strong, look hard, exert power, maintain control and be silent. If I did not maintain that public masculinity, then my peers would call me names. They were wimp, sissy, wuss, pussy, girl and faggot. If I did not defend myself from these insults I was considered weak and at the mercy of everyone in the community. It is difficult to express your feelings if doing so makes you a baby or a loser in the eyes of your peers and in some cases, adults. By not knowing how to express their feelings, it makes it difficult for men to maintain healthy relationships with other individuals. "The expression of emotion leaves one vulnerable to one's competitor, so the strict control of any emotion that might adversely affect a male's performance or competitive edge is rewarded and any lack of control is punished."[21]

Many young black men have resorted to violence to prove their masculinity. Our masculine socialization involves creating violence to prove to others that we are men. Many of the ways we come to think, feel and behave are produced and negatively reinforced by violence and we experience at the hands of other boys and men. But, why are black men resorting to violence as a way of expressing their masculinity?

We need to look at the history of America. It is a nation that was conceived with violence, the American Revolution. It is a nation that has used force to keep certain groups of society under control. It is a nation that has maintained control over others through war and other means of physical force. For example, because the United States could not get Iraq to submit to the accord placed on them by the United Nations, we are willing to use physical force to force them to comply. We, as Americans, have a tendency to overlook the violence our nation has committed upon other nations.

Violence is glorified in the mass media. Some of the heroes on television and in literature became famous for their use of physical force to conquer their enemies. Young children are exposed to violence daily via television. Some young black males are exposed to violence that is in their neighborhood from the use and sale of drugs, black on black crime, rape, drive by shootings, gang related activity and domestic violence.

The same young black males are often the targets of violence by forces that deem them expendable by society. The police often do not hesitate to use violence to control or kill young black males. These same men, whose lives are disregarded, see neither value in their own lives nor value in the lives of others.

American society has not been inclusive in providing many young black males with legitimate channels and resources for developing a strong sense of masculinity, status and respect. "Violence has become a readily available and seemingly realistic tool for achieving these critical social rewards; it is in this sense that violence can even become a form of achievement when everything else has failed."[22]

The young black male can obtain respect and status among his peers if they are all committing violence as a way of asserting their masculinity. The young black male does not go outside of his social class to commit violence. He is a terror to the people of his own community. He is quick to hurt, maim and kill if you are black and standing in his way to achieve the admiration of his peers. Society has created this individual. He comes from a community where the economic level is below poverty, and he may live in a household headed by a woman who is in a constant struggle to maintain a house. The males he probably looks up to are drug dealers, pimps and hustlers who are out to get over on individuals. He may see his mother become a victim of domestic violence.

When he is in public, the police watch him with a stern look and white people try their best to avoid any contact with him. A gang whose way of life is taking from others accepts him. He gains respect by helping maintain the "turf" by battling against other gangs. When he or his peers come into contact with the police, they are treated like dirt. When he watches television, his image is shown in the worst situation. He does not see any hope at all for his predicament; therefore, death does not scare him. This black male has probably experienced child abuse.

One of the factors responsible for black child abuse is the condition of poverty under which children are reared.[23] Because of the economic hardship and trying to take care of many children, this may lead the mother into a stressful situation where she may not use good parental techniques. This same male child may be punished by the mother's boyfriend who may have been an abuse victim himself.[24]

Another type of violence used to prove the black male manhood is sexual violence, such as the rape of women forcibly or through date rape. It is said that black men who rape are consequently acting out their feeling of powerlessness against black women. For black men, rape is often an act of aggression against women because the kinds of status men can acquire through success in a job is often not available to them.[25] These acts of aggression afford moments of power, and by extension, status. There are men who brag of taking pussy. They are not shameful, nor do they feel embarrassed. These types of men have no respect for women.

"To a young black male, the woman becomes, in the most profound sense, a sexual object. Her body and her mind are the objects of a sexual game, to be won for his personal aggrandizement. Status goes to the winner. And sex is prized not as a testament of love, but as a testimony to control of another human being. Sex is the prize, and sexual conquests are a game whose goal is to make a fool of the young woman."[26]

I know of young women who have fallen into this trap. As a youth director I became aware of this situation far too often. The young men would brag to each other about with whom they have had sexual intercourse. One young man bragged to another about how he had "fingered" the cousin of the young man he was conversing with while we were traveling to a youth outing in the church van. There is an unhealthy relationship that is tearing the black male and female apart. Although we can recognize that some of the sexual behavior of black men is a function of forces beyond their control, there must be some accountability for these individual actions.

Homophobia, one of the greatest fears in the black community, is another trap of patriarchal masculinity black men have embraced. "We can be labeled fag, queer or homo, and targeted for verbal or physical abuse if we express an interest in being emotionally or physically close to other males."[27] The fear of homosexuals is ingrained by the mystique that a man does not want to be dominated by someone else. An effeminate man is therefore considered on the same scale as a woman; one who is to be mastered and is held in low esteem. A gay man goes against some of the notions of masculinity. A "real" man must not show any type of emotion or physical closeness, except in socially acceptable sports activities or within families.

I am under the impression that the black community's disapproval of homosexuality is saturated in the Biblical teachings they received from white Christians. Also, by hating a group that is disliked by the keepers of society standard, they hope to achieve acceptance from that group. Also it could be that the black community does not want another factor that could be used against them by the dominant culture. Some ministers in the black church have preached sermons that homosexuality is an abomination before God. It is this type of hatred that has kept the black community from responding in a positive way toward the black gay community. By not accepting the Black gay community we have allowed them to suffer in silence against a disease that is killing our community.

In this section I have shown how the masculinity prescribed by the dominant culture, which the black community has accepted, has led to the black male living a life that has caused him great pain and death. This masculinity has caused him to evolve into a creature that neither society nor he approves of.

During a Laymen's League weekend at church one year, the men had a program where one of the features was a challenge from a black woman. There had been a discussion among the men and women of the church of the problems existing between men and women. Both agreed these problems needed to be addressed. The reason for this challenge: black men were not responding to their own inadequacy of relationships with women. The women were tired of the sexism that men brought to the relationship. The men were confused and did not know how to respond in a way that would not be offensive. The challenge and response was a collaboration to start men and women to thing about making a positive change in the way they looked at relationships. Reverend Paula McGee gave the challenge. I gave the response. Here are the challenge and the response which I believe could help start black men and women to look at masculinity in a new way.

The challenge to you-- my brothers, is that each of you find the "you" that is "beloved of God," the "one created in the very image of God." It is my challenge, my desire-- my brother, that you will first understand the love of god and embrace its transforming, life changing power.

The challenge is that you will love God and allow God's love to manifest in your life. Without the sincere, unadulterated, deep love of God, you will never truly be able to love me and my sisters.

The challenge is that you will become "your brother's keeper." You will embrace the ancient African proverb, which says, "I am because we are and because we are, therefore I am." You will be your brother's keeper, when your brother has gone astray. You will take your strength and bear his weakness. You will labor with him and remind yourself that even with the burden of your brother, "he ain't too heavy."

The challenge is that you take your rightful place as fathers, husbands and friends. You will love each of our daughters with tenderness and strength. When a sexist and racist world refuses to embrace her, she can always find embrace in her daddy's arms.

The challenge is that you will teach and mentor our sons, that you will not be "missing in action," but be active in their lives. Their role models will not be slam dunkers, linebackers, and homerun champions, but they will proudly speak of their heroes as being their fathers.

The challenge is that you will be husbands of quality. Daring to be kings in your castles, stepping in the place of your regal heritage and receiving gracefully shared leadership with your beautiful queens.
The challenge is to love freely without oppression and domination; to commit to make each of us personal best; to do what is best for our families and for community.

The challenge is that you will be responsible. Responsible with our hearts, when we decide to love you. Responsible with our dreams, when we decide to dream with you. Responsible with our bodies, when we decide to share them with you. Responsible with our lives, when we decide to live with you.

The challenge-my brothers, is that you will be "real men." Stand up straight young man. Look me in the eye when I talk to you. Dare to cry real tears with me. Dare to really talk to me. Tell me your dreams and even tell me your pain, but don't shut me out-talk to me. Admit when you're wrong. Stand up for what is right. Refuse to exploit and refuse to be exploited. Laugh out loud. Praise others. Let your spirit soar. Dare to dream. Dare to live each day as if it is your last.

You are a beautiful Nubian brother. So walk, my brother, in the pride of your history and live in the present as if you know the greatness of your past and the potential of the future.[28]

Thank you Reverend McGee for your challenge.
First I must say that what you have said does not pertain to all black men. There are those black men who have always put their love for God first, embraced and affirmed their daughters and sons. There are black men who have treated their wives as queens and equals. My heroes have been my father and my grandfather who have loved their families sacrificially. If it was not for real black men like my father and grandfathers, this challenge would have no effect upon me.

I will accept your challenge because I am a real man. I am a real black man. I am a real black man made in the image of God. A real man is a man of vision. To be a man of vision, one must be a man of God. When you are a man of God, you will desire to be a living witness to God's love. The real black man values his relationship with the Creator.

The real black man who is a living witness to God's love is sensitive to the pain and oppression of others. As men of vision, we are men of action, who refuse to stand idle while our brothers and sisters slide down the drain. Those of us who are strong will carry our brothers, we will not worry about the burden because we are sustained by the Sovereign God. The men of God will confront all obstacles that have been placed in our paths. We will seek the good of others first and never use another human being.

As real black men we understand our purpose in life. We are going to lead in the resurrection of our communities and businesses. We will think before we act, take pride in our work, behave with dignity and accept responsibility for our actions.

As men of vision we will be the heroes and role models to our daughters and sons. The superman in their lives will be fathers, grandfathers, uncles and brothers. We will nurture our children, teach our children, be their mentors and take an active part in their lives. We will be the village for all the children. The men of God will always embrace and affirm the children of the community. We will teach them right from wrong and design within them a positive self-image. When the world kicks them we will console them and encourage them to keep on pushing.

The real black men of God love the black women. We love you, we adore you, we desire you, we respect you, and we care about you. We want you to walk beside us as equals. We are willing to share our dreams, tell you our pain and seek your advice. We will make a commitment to you and keep it. We love you, black women. You have put up with our insecurities, you held our families together, and you took little for yourself, and have given back in abundance. Your beauty, your strength, your scent and your character are all aphrodisiacs unto real black men. Black women of God, Mothers of our children, queens of our race, dearly beloved sisters, "WE NEED YOU."

As a living witness to God's love, the black man will be unselfish, generous, honest and trustworthy to others. The black man will be honorable, dependable, kind and forgiving to his brothers and sisters. The black man will be thoughtful, sensitive, tender and romantic to the woman he loves.

The real black man will accept the challenge that has been extended to him. We will show the world that we are men of vision, men of God. So, my brothers, let us accept this challenge and show the world we are living witnesses to God's perfect love.[29]

The masculinity of the black male needs to be reconstructed for all males to learn a healthier way of living. Input is needed from all individuals who care about and desire to see the black male transformed into a man who cares about himself and others. The black male can learn from feminist and womanist teachings, the characteristics of sexism, misogyny and sexual violence. He can learn from other males how violence is detrimental to his well being and others. He must either learn from or teach the preacher that the church is not a place to reinforce the outdated understanding of masculinity. The black male can learn from the sociologist how the environment, the beliefs of others, relationships and socialization can create a masculinity that can transform his life. Black men could learn from gay men how to love themselves and not fear closeness with other men. Black men can learn from their girlfriends, wives and women friends on listening to your body, being vulnerable and not fearing commitment and intimacy. As a black man I see that we can start moving toward a reconstruction of a masculinity that would change the course of men. This new construct would bring wholeness to all those who come into contact with a transformed black man. The new masculinity for black men would take time to implement to those who need to be changed. Most men fear change and anything that causes them to undergo a change. "Changes means growth, and growth can be painful."[30] I am a prophet of hope. There are some dark days still ahead for the black man, but I do believe that he can be resurrected into a new creature that can usher forth a new revolution for humanity. I am hoping for a new possibility for the black male.

In development of a new masculinity for black men I need to recognize the forces that help create the problems of black masculinity. One must understand the legacy of racism and how it has undermined the psyche of black. Most individuals are reluctant to tackle this issue because of the complexity, guilt, shame, anger and frustration of getting individuals to acknowledge this problem. It would take a collective body of individuals to sit and talk about how they best understood how to deal with the problem of racism. Ignoring the problem of racism will not help, but most individuals will not understand how racism has affected the masculinity of black men. The best a person could do was acknowledge that the black man has been shaped by the legacy of racism. It was during CPE that I got angry with a coworker because he kept asking questions and suggesting how this nation might deal with racism. I told him he would never understand the effects of racism on my soul. He acknowledged that he probably would not understand, but could relate to the pain and frustration I was feeling. I questioned whether he could relate to the pain and frustration, but I learned that pain and frustration are common emotions for all human beings.

I am intending on using a pastoral care and counseling/prophetic model to construct this new model of masculinity. Before a pastor can become a teacher of this new masculinity, he must realize how strong sexism has played a part in being one of the problems of masculinity. There are six points that he must embody to help himself understand sexism:

The Black church should be the starting point for tackling sexism in the African American community. It is one of the last institutions that has recognized the importance of women's leadership. We can get other men to respond if the male minister would share their pulpits with women ministers. It takes collaboration between the male and the female to bring about a liberating change to the community.

The church must also realize that its Christian Education Department must be transformed into developing a curriculum that will educate the people into a new way of thinking about masculinity. The curriculum will need to reinterpret those scriptures that have been used to reinforce the rulership of the man. There must be a curriculum that will deal with sexism in the church and its leadership. Education is the main ingredient to helping people learn new ways of thinking.

To begin this journey of personal transformation we must recognize that the reason so many black men accept the norms of masculinity from the dominant culture is that they do not have a sense of self. "Knowing ourselves is a fundamental aspect of assuming personal power and effectiveness."[32] When you do not have a sense of self, will not know who you are, where you came from nor where you are going. This has been the plight of the black male because he has been stripped of his identity. The black male has taken on an identity that was prescribed by a culture that has given him negative information. He must have self-actualization to assume responsibility for his life and actions. When you do not have a sense of self you do not believe you are responsible for your actions and you blame your problems on others. There will not be any change in the masculinity of black men until they have self-actualization. "Self-actualization refers to a drive or tendency evident within all organic and human life to grow, develop, mature and thereby actualize or realize the potentialities of the organism and the self."[33] An individual can reach this when there is an atmosphere that gives him a sense of worth.[34] Many young black males are not in a positive educational, home or peer environment that would give them an appropriated sense of worth.[35]

Learning about one's self is not an easy matter. "Human beings are not born with an automatic knowledge of who they are, what they have been and what they can become."[36] Human beings are taught about themselves from the information they receive through family, educational structures, the culture, images and religion.[37] In America today, the mass media have not done a good job of providing positive images of black men who have not been obsessed with the dominant cultural masculinity. The mass media have produced negative images of the black male to everyone.

What are needed are church groups that can provide a mentoring program for all black males to begin a program of personal transformation. We need males who are not obsessed with patriarchal masculinity to be the teachers of this program. We need successful role models from the religious community that are not used by the dominant culture to make money by offering images that are distorted. There are two individuals form the past who have had masculinity that was not of the norm. One individual had his development of masculine identity created from his culture, family and community. The other individual went through a personal transformation using an alternative religious group to restructure his identity.

Howard Thurman was one African American who did not have to search for identity. His culture, family and community had ingrained his identity in him. He knew who he was; therefore no one could define his existence for him.[38] Malcolm X was one individual who learned about self from the confrontation of problems and the development of a solution for these problems. This transformation for Malcolm X was a journey that took him most of his life. He did not achieve a humane masculinity until after his break from the Nation of Islam and he took a journey to Mecca. [39]

To reeducate the masculine mind will require men who are willing to go through a process that will be uncomfortable, unfamiliar and exploring uncharted areas of their lives. A men's liberationist group would be a good start for some men to learn how to start a personal change in their masculinity. The men's liberationist group can provide an education that will begin to inoculate a spirit of transformation. Here is a list of ten things men can do to end sexism and male violence against women. This list was devised by a men's liberationist group.

Men's liberationists value the critique of patriarchy by feminists. They realize that the personal changes in men's lives demand serious political change. They know the need to move beyond a macho image and stop the violence. "Male liberationist ideology consciously rests on a threefold affirmation: it is pro-male, but also pro-gay and pro-woman."[41]

To prophetically minister to the black male would mean confronting the male to accept responsibility for his actions of masculinity. It also would mean not being satisfied with the way that other people accept him as a male. It is up to him to make changes that would be beneficial to his life and make him a socially acceptable male.

The pastoral aspect would encourage the black male to make the changes in his masculinity to bring wholeness to his life. The pastor would seek to help provide the comfort of doing grief work without turning him into a victim.

Conclusion

The problem of black masculinity is one that is very complex and difficult to find a total solution. It is with this project that I have attempted to start moving toward a reconstruction process. A process such as this would inoculate the black male to seek a personal transformation to a better way of living. It is through this project that I continue on my own personal transformation to reconstruct my masculinity that will bring more harmony into my life. The changes that I have gone through within the last year have brought me to a point in my life where I need a change to make my life have more meaning. I am defining who I am, where I am going, and where I have come from. No human being can give me an identity that will take away my sense of self.
In chapter one I was able to identify the problem of masculinity and its components. In chapter two I defined and named the problems masculinity for black males. In chapter three I started a process that would start an individual on a personal transformation journey. This process is to raise questions for the individual to struggle with and answer as he strives for growth.

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