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Advice for First-Year Parents

Going off to college is a milestone in a student's life. Many people forget that it's a milestone for parents as well. If this is your first child to leave home, it is especially important and perhaps, anxious. Vanderbilt is here for your student and also for you. Vanderbilt parents are encouraged to contact the Office of Alcohol, Tobacco and Other Drug Prevention (alcohol@vanderbilt.edu) or the Parents and Family Office if you need more information that what is supplied through the Vanderbilt websites.

To help with the transition, the following books are recommended. Some are available in the Vanderbilt Book Store in Rand Hall.

  • "College, Alcohol, & Choices: An Essential Conversation Guide for Parents & Students", by David Burns, $25
  • "A Parents Guide to Sex, Drugs & Flunking Out: Answers to the Questions Your College Student Doesn't Want You to Ask", by Joel Epstein, $16
  • "Letting Go: Parents Guide to Understanding the College Years", by Karen Levin Coburn, $13

Your Child is Going to College - What Parents Should Do

Adapted from: National Commission Against Drunk Driving and The Century Council

According to college administrators and alcohol researchers, parents have more power and influence than they realize to help protect their student from dangerous drinking. They can help college-bound teenagers assess their goals and values, explore what they want out of the college experience, assess the culture at schools they are considering and check in frequently with their student once at college, especially during the high-risk first year.

Following are some suggestions:

  • Parents need to help their student explore decision-making, values and priorities.
  • Parents need to express an opinion about what they expect their student to do in college (attending class, financial responsibility, choices regarding drinking, study time vs. social time, staying in touch, etc)
  • Parents, do your homework! Read the literature that the school mails during the summer; most colleges and universities will include information about alcohol policy and sanctioning as well as what the student may experience during the first year. Suggestions may include how to constructively respond.
  • Arm yourself with information. Check the college or university's web site to read the alcohol policy and its program to prevent underage drinking and alternative activities to drinking.
  • Do not romanticize any youthful experience with alcohol or other drugs
  • Keep in close contact by phone or email, especially during the first six critical weeks.
  • Do not be afraid to ask questions, such as their partying, drinking, using drugs. Better yet, visit your student on campus. Saturday mornings might be a great time to see for yourself if partying or drinking is effecting your student's life.
  • Make sure the student understands the legal penalties for underage drinking, driving under the influence, using a fake ID and other alcohol offenses.

Here are some conversation starters you may want to use with your student:

  • How will you decide whether or not to drink at college?
  • What will you do if you find yourself at a party with only alcohol to drink?
  • What will you do if your roommate only wants to drink and party?
  • What will you do if you find someone passed out in the bathroom?
  • How will you handle it if you are asked to baby-sit someone who is very drunk?

Most college students make responsible decisions about the use or non-use of alcohol. However, we also know that:

Availability of Alcohol + Absence of Parents + Desire to fit in = Potentially risky drinking decisions

For more information:
Alcohol, Tobacco & Other Drug Prevention Programs
Station B 1508
Nashville Tennessee 37235
(615) 343-4740
FAX (615) 343-3702

 


Resources

TN Laws
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Party Planning Guide
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Physiological Effects of Alcohol & Other Drugs
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Effects of Date Rape Drugs
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Academic Links for Class Papers & Projects


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