it’s an interesting feeling.
jeanxiao March 18th, 2009
when you’ve done something for so long and one day you wake up and it’s not a part of your life anymore… you almost feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself. it’s an interesting feeling, waking up to a feeling of being afraid…
afraid of that you’ve made a wrong decision andÂ
afraid of the infinite possibilities for the future.
i woke up, feeling numb, feeling different, feeling… okay.
i’m excited but uncertain, happy but sad, broken but stronger… these paradoxical feelings rapture me, entangle me, hold me hostage, but i know that one day, i’ll wake up and feel whole again.Â
when you’ve done something or have held a relationship to something or someone and put your heart, energy, time, and soul into it, you feel a little bit empty when it’s gone. you feel a little bit direction-less, you feel a little bit off…
but then you step outside and sit under the sun, and you breathe. you live, and life moves on.
it’s in the little things. it may seem little to someone, but it can be enormous to someone else. sometimes, you have to reassert your own values to yourself because something has made you doubt. however, you’ve got to believe; you’ve got to view yourself the way God views you - as a beautiful, capable, and strong individual.Â
it doesn’t matter what other people view your strengths are or stereotype you to be. you must believe and break all the views/ misconceptions, and set a precedent. you’ve got to stand up and receive the greatness that God has in store for you.
it’s scary and hard journey, but it will be worth it. sometimes, the right thing is the hardest thing; sometimes, something that breaks your heart and makes you cry is just what you needed.
and sometimes, it defines your unique perspective and your own values.Â
but no matter how great you become - you must always remember the people who loved you along the way and the experiences which made you who you are.
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heartÂ
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,Â
and he will make your paths straight.Â
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