College: Living, Laughing and Learning

jeanxiao January 17th, 2009

I think one of the most difficult things I’ve discovered since coming to Vanderbilt is accepting that there are very, very talent, intelligent, beautiful, wonderful people here.  In high school, I was one of the best.  I won the Outstanding Senior Award in my class of 880 (please do not take that as a brag).  In everything I did, I was successful.  

For the past two years at Vanderbilt, I’ve been really blessed with opportunities to make a difference in the Vanderbilt community and to learn so much inside and outside the classroom.  Sometimes, I don’t feel like I am the smartest kid here even though I have a great GPA.  Sometimes, I don’t feel like the an involved, active leader because there are so many leaders surrounding me.  Sometimes, I doubt other people’s motives; sometimes, I doubt my own motives, and by doubting, I lose a bit of confidence and initial drive.  

Recently, I’ve been feeling inadequate about my leadership abilities.  I’ve always been one of the strongest leaders on campus, but recently, I’ve noticed that there are so many leaders with so much going for them - all on campus.  Sometimes, great leaders compete for the same position.  A great example is with the Vanderbilt Student Government elections:  Fabiani & Deno and Wyatt & Lori are the two pairs running for Prez and VP.  

College (and especially at Vanderbilt) will challenge you to think about your environment, your leadership, and how you can change your community.  Sometimes, you may feel inadequate or not as capable as others, but college is a great environment for learning.  The journey of life is a great environment for learning.  There are going to be times where you feel discouraged and sometimes beaten and lost, but remember, take it day by day, opportunity by opportunity - eventually, you will find your time to shine.  Do your best and that’s all you can do.  Find your talent.  Sometimes, it takes trying new things out.  Sometimes, you’ll make mistakes and find that some things don’t suit you - that’s okay too.  You’ll find your way somewhere, somehow.

It’s a journey.

• contemplation