College: Living, Laughing and Learning

jeanxiao December 31st, 2008

last year, around new years i did a motivational note about taking risks [on facebook]. this year, as i reflect on the long periods of contemplation, confusion, stress, ups and downs, laughs, loves and life, i’d like to say:

don’t let anyone tell you what you should or should not do.

this may seem like an easy principle, but it’s easier than you think to fall into society’s traps. throughout my entire life i’ve never let society’s boundaries stop me, but this semester, i gave in for a while. this semester i let society tell me that if i get a PhD in Economics, then i would just become a professor, researcher, or government worker. i was told that if you’re going to get a great business job in the future, you should have a plethora of internships, lots of business classes, and that people with PhDs don’t go out into the business world. my own mind told me i had to drop my student organizations to make room for internships and other things. i struggled with finding what to do, what i should do, and if i did everything with a true passion, a pure motive.

after many restless nights, afternoons of cruising through business and graduate schools, an excess of repeated conversations with friends, chats with my mother, and arguments with my father — after all of it, i finally realized that i have always marched to the beat of my own drum, and i will continue to march to the beat of my own drum.

i am going to get a PhD, and i am going to become a very successful business woman. i am going to do both. more education never hurt anyone. also, summer internships while pursuing a graduate degree is a viable option for business world experience. JP Morgan has a specific tab for internships for PhD candidates. if JP Morgan recognizes the value in PhD candidates, why can’t other companies?

in fact, why is everything so black and white sometimes? why can’t the world have a bit of color? there are two types of people in the world: diligent and lazy. the diligent work hard for their dreams; the lazy give up on them before even trying because it’s “too hard.” let me tell you something: companies look for people with passion, determination - people who are willing to work hard, put in the extra effort, and be optimistic - essentially, people who can take a challenge.

[*Note: Please don't get me wrong. Internships, work experiences, etc. are all GREAT. That is not the point of my note. My point is that I figured out that I didn't have to go the conventional route of achieving something.]

i want a challenge. that is exactly why i chose to take math as a second major. people assume because i’m asian or because i go to vanderbilt that it comes easy to me. well, it doesn’t. i work my butt off; there’s tears and pain involved with depressing math tests, but i do it because i honestly believe it will benefit me in the future. i honestly believe in the value of learning the intangible problem-solving skills; i find beauty in numbers, and i know eventually everything will make sense.

so basically, don’t do something just to do it. do it because you LOVE IT! i’ve talked to many wonderful people this year who have really inspired me - people who study things and lead organizations because they enjoy the subject or have passion for the cause, people who immerse themselves in another culture, another language, another world, people who work their butts off to make this world better. i have friends who know WAY more chinese than i do and they learn it because they find china fascinating. i have a lot of respect for people who follow their heart and their passions.

pray often, pray hard. be who you want to be. do what you want to do. take the road less traveled. make a path where there is none. work hard. love the work you do. do the work you love. remember to enjoy the journey - remember to appreciate the people around you - remember to take time with the God, family, and friends who touched your life - remember to live life. live life passionately in every way possible.

• contemplation